you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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