But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
