I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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