just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
