Pregnant stripper...not hot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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