I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
