What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
