are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
