her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
try to milk me bitch
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