are you so shy because you have an std?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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