The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
