Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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