okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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