He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
