I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
