And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
