im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
His hands were made for my vagina.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize