That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
