He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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