my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
