Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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