Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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