She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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