its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
