I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize