everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize