is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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