I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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