my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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