remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize