Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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