big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
