So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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