i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Panties = found
Randomize
