Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
