The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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