dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
