So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
