Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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