You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize