He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
