Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Couch. On fire.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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