Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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