so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
