I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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