Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
