ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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