i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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