yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
