Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
