we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
