Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
