I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
