you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
