i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
