i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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