the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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