do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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