I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
