Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I pour the whiskey from now on
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
