you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
